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Tag Archives: Martin Buber

Missing You Mom

Tuesday, 07/04/17

 

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

Copyright © 2014,2015,2016,2017 Tianna Filley All Rights Reserved
~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


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Posted by on July 4, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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The Lives That We Touch

Tuesday, 06/27/17

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. ~ Erin Majors

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the people we meet and the lives that we touch.

Mostly, I’ve been thinking about relationships and the various connections and links we have with people. I’ve been thinking about the way people weave themselves in and out of our lives. And how rarely we notice the subtle impact they have on us until they leave.

I don’t believe we meet people on accident. I am a firm believer in that. I think people come into our lives exactly when we need them to. Like my ex-husband who taught me all about a broken heart and taught me to stop placing all my happiness on one person. He was a lesson learned on so many levels. But most importantly, he taught me that looks are deceiving and one needs to look into the heart and soul of the person.

My 10th grade history teacher, Mr. Sanford whom was one of the kindest and most caring human beings I have ever known, who taught me to be relentless in the pursuit of my goals, and taught me to laugh in the face of all pain. And to never give up! Mr. Sanford was always smiling and laughing. He had a way of filling your heart with hope!

A very close cousin/sister who taught me empathy and understanding even when she was in her final days of battling terminal cancer, she still managed to lift people spirits and hearts, even just days before she passed.

The woman in front of me at the grocery store with tired eyes and two kids that taught me patience and wonder as I watched her let her toddler individually place each item on the belt.

I’ve been thinking about endings. And goodbyes. And letting go. And how people come into our lives at different parts of our story — how they come in and stay for a scene, a chapter, or the majority of our book. I’ve been ruminating over the short-lived relationships and how we establish all of these invisible connections with people, just to see them go. It doesn’t seem fair. If given any wish in the world, I’d wish for the ability to wrap my arms around every single person I care about, around every single life that’s touched me, and keep them right here with me.

But as far as selfishness goes, I don’t even come close. One of life’s biggest, suckiest, truths is that we are never given a timeline. People come and go all the time — some relationships are short lived, some last far longer than they should, some stay for a good portion of our lives, while others cruise in and out faster than we could have anticipated. Some people come in into our lives for what feels like a moment, but we are forever changed by their presence, no matter how fleeting.

 

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

Copyright © 2014,2015,2016,2017 Tianna Filley All Rights Reserved
~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
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Posted by on June 27, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Not Telling?

Sunday, 06/11/17

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

There’s some of life that’s been pretty fantastic, some that’s been not so great, and most of it is being lived elsewhere in the corners of a sunny patio and a full kitchen table. Sometimes I want to not-tell a great many things, so I hide my pen, shut down my laptop and get on with life and the stories that happen.

So if you’ve been wondering what’s been going on? That is it. That is what’s been going on, at least a small bit of it.

I’ve had a few health problems. It was one thing and then another. I’m doing much better now! All the Glory be given to God!!

I’ve been learning and cooking and watching a bit too much television. I’ve embraced the rays of (almost) summer, bought tickets, checked bags, spilled lattes, laughed loudly and cried more than I’d like. I tell my family I love them, because I do, and I try not to rush the days, even the bad ones, because they are only here once.

I also try to not worry, although I think I’m quite bad at it … not worrying, that is.

I try to ask myself the hard questions, and say my prayers, and go for drives ( hubby of course does the driving for now, anyway), and give hugs, write emails, and remember what’s needed from the past so I can push into the future. And I’m trying harder to be present, kinder and healthy.

And while I pretend that my laptop is shut down and my pens are dusty, that is only partially true. Because I’ve been writing the bigger story, getting it down in fits and starts. It’s rough, incredibly hard at times, but I’ve promised myself there will be something, even if it’s only ever this, there will be something.

 

Please stop by my other website Tianna’s Books

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Shadows of Premonition

Copyright ©2014,2015,2016,2017 Tianna Filley All Rights Reserved

~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
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Posted by on June 11, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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I Miss You!

Sunday, 05/07/17

Too many times we let things go unsaid, may we all be reminded how precious and short life is!

 

My sissy/cuzzie passed away a little over a month ago.

I found out a Monday at work.

One minute, I was ranting about our perpetual existential crises and life stresses, and the next, I was hearing the heartbreaking news.  Suddenly, the ranting and raving that took place only minutes before dissipated; reality struck me like a gust of cold wind that shook me to the core.

Time seemed to stand still between those minutes, as if preparing me for the gut-wrenching feeling of being paralyzed by grief.

Young death is an unfathomable tragedy that often reminds you of the brevity of life. It’s sudden, and it’s swift, and it shakes you so deeply, and with such force, that you can’t help but feel profoundly betrayed by the world that’s supposed to keep you safe and let you grow old with the people you love.

The universe often works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it? That day for me was a fog. It was working through a long work day, and then a long drive home, asking what’s the point. What’s the point in all of this? She didn’t ask for this. I was repeating to myself over and over again, why?

I somehow ended up at the grocery store with no list or plan in mind. I was walking down each aisle, angry at all of the people filling their carts with the proper fixings for a meal. It was the desperate feeling of wanting everyone around me to stop what they were doing and feel even a fraction of what I was feeling. I was praying for a familiar face to come up to me and say I get it, I get it. I’m hurting for you too.

This hurts so much. It’s not fair. It’ll never be fair.

They’ll never know those special moments that you will hold onto when the grief gets bigger and the anniversary of death gets further away.

And they don’t know how much you are kicking yourself over and over again for somehow allowing the last conversation that ever passed your lips between the two of you to be about visiting soon. Soon is a concept I’ve become all too well acquainted with. I’ll get to it soon. I’ll call them back soon. Let’s hang out soon. Sometimes, soon never does come.

One month since you’ve been gone.

One month and a few days actually and it feels like forever, and like no time at all. It’s longer than we’d ever gone without talking or texting.

I still do not believe you are gone.

Yet, you remain, everywhere … On my cell phone under “favorites”, my Facebook, my address book, in pictures, but most of all, in my heart!!

Thank you for giving me one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever known …you!!

My Sweet Darlene

 

You will never walk any road alone

You have me by your side

You have the love of many family and friends

We will help you keep your stride

 

You brighten up our dreary lives

You sing an angels note

And if you ever gave up now

Then I would give up hope

 

You have so much to live for

You’ve spread love right from the start

You make us feel there is happiness for all

With the love that comes from your heart

 

You’re one of my reasons for loving

Thank you my sweet baby Doll

When your illness gets you down at times

Remember you are loved in this world

 

In the end when God calls us

And we look him in his eyes

It’s not what people do for us

It’s how we were loved in our lives

 

Copyright © 2015 Tianna Filley All Rights Reserved

Please stop by my other website Tianna’s Books

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
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Posted by on May 7, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday, 05/08/16

CircleOfLove

GJ-HappyMothersDay01
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.-Emily Dickenson

Dear Mom,

I don’t remember the last time I actually sat down and wrote you a letter, although I know it’s been a while … a little while. Funny how you never really think of those kinds of things, but then, written words were never really all that important to us … were they?

In fact, I can remember a time when we were SO close; I swear we could read each other’s thoughts. But those times are gone now … aren’t they? And to be honest, I don’t even know why I’m writing you this letter, it’s not like you can read it anymore.

I guess, maybe it’s because, if you wait too long, the words can never be spoken out loud. And there’s just too much I need to tell you to let that happen. So here it is mommy, my letter to you.

First off, I need to tell you how very much I love you! You have been a constant joy in my life and each day God gave us to spend together, was like having heaven here on earth. Don’t ever think, not for a minute, that you were EVER a burden to me … because you weren’t. If anything, you were a blessing.

In fact, do you know as I was growing up, the one thing I wanted was to become a person who was just like you? Someone who was strong, caring, and loving? And that’s what you were mommy … that’s what you always were.

If there was someone in trouble, you were the one to lend a hand, to lend a shoulder, to lend a heart. You never judged or condemned. You just went about trying to make it better. And what a difference you made in all of those lives.

You see, you were the one who taught me to look beyond the human face and search out the heart instead. You said; ‘there’, is where the real person lye’s … and you were right.

But how did you know that? And how did you know to teach me that? Because that’s what I DO now. I no longer look at the facial features or the frailties that have happened because of life, but I DO look at their hearts mom, and what remarkable things I have seen there. And you were such an example of that!!

Do you know what I see when I look at your pictures today? I see the beauty of who you still are in my heart. Not anything else … but YOU.

I also want to tell you what an incredible mother you had been. And don’t fuss at me for saying that, because it’s the truth. You’ve always given me whatever I have needed. Whether it was faith, confidence, courage, or even to have belief in myself. But above all, the most important thing you have ever given me is your love. In fact, there has never been a time when I hadn’t felt it. And that includes now, even though you can’t say it to me anymore.

Well mom, I guess that’s just about it. I hope someday you will see this letter. Whether it’s reading it from heaven or just simply seeing it in my heart. You will always be with me mom, no matter where I go or what I do. And the one thing I will always be certain of is that, in this life, I was loved by you.

Happy Mother’s Day In Heaven

Love Always Your Daughter,

Pami

GJ-HappyMothersDay02

In Memory Of My Mom

You were a precious gift from God above,
So much beauty, grace and love.
You touched our hearts in so many ways,
Your smile so bright even on the bad days.
You heard God’s whisper calling you home,
You didn’t want to go and leave us alone.
You loved us so much, you held on tight,
Till all the strength was gone and you could no longer fight.
He had called your name twice before,
You knew you couldn’t make him wait anymore.
So you gave your hand to God and slowly drifted away,
Knowing that with our love we will be together again someday.PDMagnifyingglassPlease stop by my other website Tianna’s Books

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
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Posted by on May 8, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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The questions I ask you …

Saturday, November 14, 2015

a-little-inspiration

“We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.- Stephen Covey”

A person I know told me something very similar to the quote above. It is something I never truly thought about. We all have 86,400 seconds in a day and it’s really what we do with those 86,400 seconds that matter.

How are you spending your day?

Are you making sure to spend time with your loved ones?
Are you thinking positive?
Are you spending too much time on the negatives in life?
Are you spending every moment you can happy or dwelling in unhappiness?
Are you making sure the ones you love know you love them?
Are you doing everything you can to keep your life/love/relationships/etc. intact?
Are you smiling at strangers?
Are you growing as a person?
Are you making your life better?
Or
Are you making someone else’s life better?

The beauty of it all is each day is a new start. However, the sad reality is not everyone has a tomorrow. Even if we do, the chance could have come and gone, and it is now too late. Say what you need to say. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Live with no regrets.

PamiHedgehog1

Please stop by my other website Tianna’s Books

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
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Posted by on November 14, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Happy 8th Anniversary Babi!

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Hearts Desire

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.~Robert Browning”

My Love,

One night, when I was least expecting it you entered my life, capturing the depths of my soul with no more than a hello. Never meeting, you amazed me with every word, touched me with every thought, and mesmerized me with every emotion. You reached past my inner walls and picked up the pieces of my shattered heart, putting it back together with such love and strength, that a lifetime of scars were healed and erased.

In that split second, an eternal bond was formed.

I had loved before, for so long and with such devotion and I had lost, vowing never to trust love again. But all it took was the simplest of words giving me that miraculous déjà vu, telling me we had known each other forever and that we were meant to be together, until all time and space cease to exist.

I fell so deep, so fast, so gently, so completely in love that I didn’t even realize it, thinking we were destined to be no more than friends, not knowing how to feel what I felt for you or what those feelings were, only the beauty and urgency of them. Reality finally crashed into and washed over me, that the love I felt was more than any emotion I had ever felt. It frightened and excited me at once, flooded into the empty spaces that made up the whole of my being.

With each day that begins and ends, you surround every thought I have, complete every dream, hope, wish, and desire. You embrace every aspect of my life, I can smell your fragrance on the wind, taste your kiss in a drop of rain, feel your warmth in the sunlight, hear your heart beating like thunder, see your face in every image and consume your love with every breath. No matter how many miles keep us apart during our day, our spirits are always together.

I feel your presence within my heart, my very soul, and you are greatly appreciated here … I take you with me everywhere I go and leave all I am with you.

I love you more with every breath I take … more than you could possibly ever know.

Happy Anniversary My Beautiful Angel

Forever Yours,

Pami

Before you, there was just one heart.
Ever searching, always reaching, never finding.

Before you, there was just one soul.
Ever seeking, always yearning, and never resting.

Before you, there was just one thought.
Ever striving, always wanting, never fulfilling.

Before you, there was just one life.
Ever planning, always hopeful, never complete.

Before you, there was just one hope.
Everlasting, always fleeting, never achieved.

Before you, there was just one dream
Ever longed for, always missed, and never believed.
Then you found me, on wings sent from above.
You taught me life’s greatest lesson,
When two hearts merge … it’s Love.

But Love’s just a concept, when all is said and done.
While on the surface, two hearts beat,
Only true Love makes us one.

Copyright ©

LovePami

Please stop by my other website Tianna’s Books

Our books went on sale July 2, 2014.

You can purchase our books at: http://www.amazon.com/ and type the name, Tianna Filley or D.R. Filley, in the search engine, and our books will come up for purchase.

Or you can click on the title of the book below and it will take you directly to that book:

A Love Of A Lifetime

Twisted Tales Collection

Youthful Musings: Poetry of Love and Loss

Shadows of Premonition

~Do You Hear Her Whispers?~


 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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